Von Swaggerboast
"What do you make of von Swaggerboast?" "Of von Swaggerboast? I make of him that he possesses a johnson fourteen miles in length, and...
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Source Emanations
- Jan 3
The Cheese Wheel and the Vomit Bag
[The following is a true story.] Have you ever had an enchanted item on your hands? I'm not talking about the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller,...
- Dec 25, 2022
Father's Balls - A Civil War Tale
"It's a letter from Pa!" "Quick, open it!" "Read it aloud!" "Dear Martha, and my 26 immaculate daughters, whose names I know, My balls...
- Aug 10, 2022
Baron von Hogg
"Lord von Hogg, I beg you to see reason!" "Bah! Reason! What has reason ever done for me? Made my trotters itch, it has. As for this...
- Jun 10, 2022
The Eastern Front
"My fingers are cold!" squealed the soldier; a piteous cry. General Hogmalov had little patience for such things. The temperature was a...
- May 17, 2022
The Viceroy's Assistants
[The following is excerpted from an unauthorized biographical portrait of Viceroy Clemens published in the Mo'mungo Garung Morning...
- Apr 23, 2022
The Big-Balled Hydrosquirrel Research Facility
"It has been said that all roads lead to Rome, but this is demonstrably untrue. However, all Forlises do indeed lead to Forlis." -Forlis...
- Apr 8, 2022
The Steward and the Chamberlain
"What is a balustrade, you ask? Must I explain everything to you? Very well: I do not know what a balustrade is, and I now bear you a...
- Apr 3, 2022
The Solar King
The Solar King commeth. His hair shines golden. Wax pours from his ears in brown cascades. Where he slouches from, no one knows. Infinity...
- Mar 24, 2022
The Great Extend-o-Johnson Conspiracy, chapter 144.1
Bryson Buxtable here. What's that? No, that doesn't sound like me. Surveillance footage? Oh please. That'll never hold up in a court of...
- Mar 5, 2022
In the Mines
From deep slumber I ascend through the murky strata of my subconscious. A single potent impetus drives me forth. The mines. My form rests...
- Feb 21, 2022
I Have Been Cloned
I am looking for a man named Jensen. Have you seen him? I mean him no harm, but there are a few things the two of us need to straighten...
- Feb 20, 2022
Heinrich Hogfreek's Requiem
Did I ever tell you the tale of Heinrich Hogfreek? He was a good soul, at bottom. But his fundamental goodness in no way excuses him for...
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