Tropical Leaves

Jebetharnam's Apotheotic Cube

So, you fancy you've got the stones to put your willy into my Cube? Into Jebetharnam's Apotheotic Cube?

*[See end note for image info.]


Fancy again, buster.


My Cube is not to be taken lightly, as can be attested by the many who've possessed the gumption to try their luck. Those of them as can still speak, at any rate.


You reckon you can endure unfathomable bliss, whilst still retaining a hold on your sanity? What about on your self-identity?


The Cube has a mind all its own. It is . . . insatiable. Even I, at times, can hardly wrangle the darned thing.


And I'm Jebe-goddamn-tharnam, for crying out loud.


Even if one manages to withstand the sublime ecstasies of the cubic stupor, just know that this gauntlet functions merely as gatekeeper for the Cube's true raison d'être.


The Supreme.


Think you've got the moxie to trifle with the Supreme? I tried to trifle with the Supreme once, and it hardly went well for me. I set of a huge cache of atomic weapons in the hopes that I might maim the Supreme, or at least tick Him off a bit.


Well, I ticked him off alright, and all He did was give me a nasty case of facial boils. He also totally sabotaged the integrity of my sphincter. Can you imagine? I've been wearing diapers ever since, which has actually been a blessing in disguise.


Anyways, my name's Jebetharnam, there's my cube. It's twenty bucks a pop, and ol' Jebetharnam gets to watch. Savvy?



*[This is the closest representation I could find for the Supreme. He is notoriously elusive, and seldom poses for photographs.]